Trepidation of A Rose
by the seraphim
Summary: Fresh out of Hogwarts, the Marauders are still causing havoc as they approach adulthood. A possible budding romance, murder plots, a talkative cat with a mysterious past, coming into unknown powers, & evil Ministry officials lurking at every corner will k
1. A Few Broken Snow Globes

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_A/N:This story is rated R because it deals with adult situations, such as language, sex, and a couple of rather descriptive gory scenes. Proceed with caution if you can't handle it.__ _

# Trepidation of a Rose

Chapter One:A Few Broken Snow Globes

Mundungus Fletcher was especially pleased when two young witches decided to buy his two bedroom flat in Hogsmeade. He had been wanting to get rid of the flat for months and hoped to retire in the country- the rising power of a Dark wizard, Voldemort, just made him even more eager to leave the magical community becausehe didn't want to get blown to bits by Death Eaters, thank you very much.

He watched warily as the witch he met Apparated out of his living room, off to find her friend and share the news, and the two girls would both be back later that night prepared to move in.He'd already given her the key, made sure she knew that the kitchen sink faucet always leaked a bit, and been paid his Galleons. Now he was ready to go, and with a flick of his wand, his entire wardrobe, furniture, everything was packed into a small briefcase. '_The power of magic_,' he thought, still marveling that he'd packed his entire house into a briefcase.

He paused briefly on the doorstep, grinning ruefully, pleased at the thought he'd never have to see the house again. Then he Apparated away; away from the painfully, bright sun that glared above in the brilliant cloudless sky.

* * ** * ** * *

"Sera!"

The disgruntled wail echoed throughout the kitchen, making the little girl sitting on top of the mahogany table giggle hysterically, her coffee colored curls bouncing around her angelic face merrily. 

"Ugh!" The young woman grunted, trying in vain to tug out the clumps of flour that stuck to her fiery red hair like glue."Oh, you think that's funny, do you?"The woman slowly advanced on the little girl, grabbed her sides, and tickled her unmercifully. The little girl shrieked with laughter, as the two covered themselves with even more flour.

That's how Natalie Wisorka found them, rolling on the floor, laughing so hard they were crying. "More often than said, I question your sanity, Lily."

Lily Evans grinned sheepishly up at her best friend, impatiently brushing her flour-caked hair out of her eyes. "What're you doing here?" Lily asked, offering a hand to her younger cousin, who was scrubbing flour off her cheeks with her hands unsuccessfully.

"You'll never guess what happened!" Natalie cried, picking Sera up off the floor and twirling her around the kitchen, amidst cookbooks, peanut butter, and (what seemed like) pounds and pounds of flour.

"You've just won a thousand Galleons, and Sirius finally proposed?" Lily quipped, as the timer on the stove rang. As Lily turned to pull the cookies out of the oven, she caught Natalie pulling a face. Sirius and Natalie had been dating on and off since they were sixteen years old; yet both were terrified of commitment and just how serious their relationship could get if they stayed together long enough, and it was obvious from Natalie's expression that they were on the disreputable latter part of the deal. 

"Even better," Natalie sighed, but with contentment or not, Lily couldn't tell as she couldn't see her face. As Lily pulled out a pan with a dozen burnt chocolate chip cookies loaded unto it, Natalie said, "I've found us a flat!"

A few cookies slid off the pan as Lily turned around in shock, hitting the floor like rocks. "Really? A flat? What's it like? Where is it? How did-" 

Natalie waved her hand, not missing a beat. "It's in Hogsmeade, it's got two bedrooms, a really small kitchen, but it doesn't matter because neither of us can cook all that well, a bathroom, and a den, and you can even bring Gandalf!"

Perhaps he thought he'd been called, or maybe because he smelled the cookies, because Gandalf the cat sauntered into the kitchen then, his tail held high. Gandalf was a snowy white ball of fur, with an odd black marking on his right ear- Lily said it looked like a broken heart, James Potter, Lily and Natalie's friend of seven, long, often arduous years, said it resembled a decapitated cockroach; but James was bit biased as Gandalf had scratched him in their fifth year.

Gandalf jumped unto the counter, and begin to nibble on a cookie but went unnoticed since his owner seemed to have finally lost her marbles. "When can we move in?" Lily squealed, abandoning her cookies to crash unto the floor so she could throw handfuls of flour into the air, as an act of celebration. 

"As soon as we want," Natalie answered, conjuring a broom, and being the compulsive neat freak she was, begin sweeping up the heaps of flour and bits of chocolate that covered the typically sparkling floor- usually so clean you could eat off of it. 

"That's fantastic!" Lily laughed, and picked up Sera from the wrath of Natalie with her broom, and spun her giddily around the room, traipsing flour over parts of the floor Natalie had already cleaned. Natalie rolled her eyes, exasperated at her friend, but used to her oddness. 

"Are you leaving me and mummy?" Sera inquired, clutching desperately to Lily's shirt as Lily tipped her over. Lily stopped twirling, and frowned a bit, not looking even more beautiful then when she smiled.

"Well, yes, sweetie I am. But you know that Nat and I have been looking for our own house for awhile now, and I can't stay here and live with you and Aunt Auliera forever."

"Yes you can. I'll let you play with my dolls and sleep in my bed and-" Sera protested, pouting innocently, as only a child can.

"Sera," Lily said, a bit of clout in her voice now. "You know I can't stay. But I'll come and visit you every time I can, and you can come visit us whenever you want- or rather, whenever Auliera chooses to stop being such a hermit and go out into the world." Lily stopped herself short, realizing her cousin had no idea what she was talking about and was likely to tell her mommy her unappreciative niece had called her a crab, which would just spew her aunt even more. 

"You're one to talk!" Natalie commented, pulling a face at the red head's back. "May I say that before Michael, you were a bit of a recluse yourself - but I daresaythat you're now the queen of snogging! And I thought I didn't have any competition as the reigning queen." Natalie grinned sardonically, softening the bite, with her wide grin. 

"Natalie!" Lily flushed feverishly, her eyes darting to her young cousin who'd now want to know what snogging was. Lily was about as subtle as a freight train, with its earsplitting horn in your left ear.

Natalie just smirked jovially, and behind her, Gandalf chocked on a clomp of burnt chocolate. 

* * ** * ** * *

Sirius Black found satisfaction in surprises, and often assumed other people appreciated them as much as he did. Therefore, it didn't stun James Potter very much when his best friend lurched out of his grand fireplace, later that morning, covered from the tips of his ear length jet black hair to his polished black boots in ashes. 

"Would it be too much to ask to of you to clean it out every once in awhile?" Sirius muttered with mild indignation, frantically swiping the dust from his perfectly pressed jeans. For someone who played the role as the rebel, Sirius sure didn't dress the part. His shirts and jeans were always ironed, his hair always combed, not a strand of hair out of place, his boots so shiny that if he looked down, he'd be able to meet his reflection as easily as if he was looking into a mirror. He was, according to a fair share of witches, " a hunk, with a capital H."Sirius had a sharp tongue, wit and charm, and was the heir to one of the oldest magical families to boot. 

James merely glanced briefly up to meet his friends curious hazel eyes, then continued to scribble hastily on a rather bent piece of parchment, pausing every couple of seconds to think of what to write. 

"Where are your parents, old boy?" Sirius asked languidly, laying out on the rug in front of the fireplace, which hosted many photographs, all of them taken by a the Potters' wizard camera, and most of them were of James- stretched across the years, from James on a broomstick at age four, to the most recent, a picture of him at his graduation from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, where he'd been the top of class. 

"Out," James mumbled, reaching across his lap to grab a large book that had been resting on his coffee table (his bible now a days it seemed), _Advanced Magic for an Auror_. He exhaled nosily a Sirius saw the profound shadows that were under James's bright eyes, and that his dark brown hair looked even more disheveled then usual, and that his round black glasses had slipped down past the bridge of his nose in a true blue James fashion. 

Sirius settled down on the floor, sighing with aggravation. It was best to not agitate James while he was working, unless you wanted to be bodily debilitated. And lately, you were in for worse than a first-rate smack on the side of your head if you dared to query him while he worked. James was working heatedly under Alastor Moody, the legendary Auror who could spot a Death Eater a mile off, in training to become an 'underground' Auror. As far as Sirius could see, the job only offered meticulous hours trekking Dark wizards, catching them, and not even having the privilege to boast about catching the sorry bastards for trepidation that Death Eaters would come after your family.

Even so, James was unrelenting- it was the only thing he'd ever wanted to be, and regardless of the threat of death and his mothers' tears, he continued his training with Alastor in secret, with only Sirius and his parents knowing where he disappeared to for work- sometimes for days on end. Whenever he walked in the front door, covered in scratches and bruises, his father would look up from the Daily Prophet, and as he'd turn the front page, he'd grunt,"Just grin and bare it, boy."James did just that, as he would hobble up to his room to nurse his wounds, battle scars from other in training Aurors, as they practiced on one another.

"Is there any particular reason you … er- popped in?" James asked, putting his quill down, realizing he'd get no work done with Sirius in the vicinity.

"Well, now that you bring it up, yes," Sirius grinned, propping his head on the end of a plum colored couch. He drummed on his chest, trying to get a rise out of James by not fully answering his question.James knew Sirius far too well to be put off, but he rolled his eyes exasperatedly anyway. 

"Stop being a pompous asshole Sirius, or I'm afraid I'll have to give you a good kick in the shins." 

Sirius grin broadened, but he tried his hardest to look abashed. "Well, if that's how you're going to be about it, I wont tell you." 

James, the better actor of the two, just shrugged, and went back to his work, appearing to not care more or less. After several minutes of straining silence, Sirius couldn't take it any longer, and burst out laughing. James dropped his quill, and with raised eyebrows asked, "So?"

"Natalie and Lily have found a flat. In Hogsmeade." 

James continued to stare blankly into Sirius's face. "That's the big news?" he asked, determined to keep his lips pressed together in a straight line. The corners of his lips were deceiving him though, of course, twitching just slightly upward.

"Yes," Sirius said, still smiling, wondering when his friend would break down and agree to help them pack Natalie's three closets of clothes.

"Hmmmm. That's nice," James said, looking down at his parchment, but instead of seeing his illegible scrawl, he met the image of Lily Evans stubbing her toe as she lugged a huge box into a wall. "Fine, I'll help," James said with the burden of one who'd just be asked to fight the front line in a bloody war.He tossed aside his report, along with his quill and book, and stretched.

"Good. We might as well head off then. I told Natalie we'd be there as soon as I could get you. Although know that I think about it, we'll probably get there before the owl does." 

"I know that _I _could get there before the owl does. _I_ don't need to use Floo Powder to travel everywhere. _I_ passed my Apparition test. _I_ –"

"- Am going to get pushed off the nearest bridge. You don't have to rub it in, Prongs." Sirius said, grabbing a handful of Floo Powder from James's table. 

"But it's so much fun, Padfoot."

"Hardy Har Ha," Sirius cackled dryly, stepping in front of the fireplace.

"My heart bleeds for you," James said, then instantly disappeared from where'd he'd been standing.

Sirius tossed in the green powder, coughing out the name Lily's aunts house was called (although her aunt was a muggle, she was connected so that Sirius could drop in when he wanted). 

"The Hacienda!" 

* * ** * ** * *

Lily was walking back to her bed, where Sera had been tossing socks in a box, when James appeared in the doorway. Lily grinned at him over the pile of shirts in her arms, and tossed them into the bed. "Hullo James. Come to help?" 

James leaned casually against the doorway, nodding to Natalie, who had been bent over another large cardboard box labeled _Lily's Stuff_, throwing in papers and books, and whatever else happened to fall into her hands. "I thought I could be of assistance."

"Well, I'm not sure you can be. Your arch-rival is across the room, perched on that window," Lily tried to say with a straight face, pointing innocently to Gandalf who was staring at James through his orange eyes.

James pulled a face at the cat, who continued to stare, unblinkingly at him. He sighed dolefully, and said, "I'm afraid we'll never get along. But I still want to help you lot out."

"Good. See those drawers over there?" James nodded. "Empty them into this box," Lily directed, gesturing to the box she was putting pillows into. 

Lily's room was of average size, with pale lavender walls, and French doors that led to a small balcony that overlooked the city of Kent. Her aunt Auliera had offered to help her paint her walls the summer after her sixth year- the year her mother and father were killed in a brutal car crash. Auliera had opened her house to her two nieces, and while Lily was only home during the summer, Petunia lived there while she went to the local college. Auliera's husband, Dustin Cohen, had been gunned down before the birth of his daughter, Sera, in Paris. 

The four worked in silence for a few uneventful minutes, until loud footsteps were heard pounding up the flight of stairs to Lily's room.

"Whose that?" Lily asked, reaching for her wand, looking at Natalie and James, her bottle green eyes wide.

"Alright, I'm here," came a male, booming voice. Lily smiled fondly as Sirius careened into the room, tripping over James's foot, causing the two men to push each other good-humoredly.

Sera sat back on the bed, waiting impatiently for Sirius to acknowledge her presence. As Sirius often dropped by, Sera had come to know him well, and she enjoyed him very much, because as she told her mother, he "plays with my dolls with me." 

Sirius held his arms out, and made a chocking sound as Sera wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. "Hello dearest," he grinned handsomely, his hazel eyes bright.

"Will you come play with me?" Sera asked hopefully, tugging on Sirius's hand. 

"Well…" Sirius glanced at the other three who had made considerable progress by themselves. "Sure."

Lily continued to move the contents of her closet to a box, listening to Sera's soft voice, as it floated from her room down the hall. "But Ms. Nesbitt, won't you stay for tea?"

And Sirius would answer in a high, feminine voice, "Well, just a cup, I suppose, Ms. Kroll." 

It was the sound of breaking glass, that jarred Lily from her thoughts. She raced from the room, to find Sirius holding Sera protectively against his chest, bits of glass and water covering the floor around them. "What happened?" Lily asked, and Sirius grinned sheepishly.

"We seem to have broken this thing…" he trailed off,holding up one of Petunia's precious snow globes. 

"Oh Sirius," Lily grimaced. "Petunia will have my head. She collects these globes, can't you see?" She gestured to the globes that adorned her sister's night table. 

"I take full responsibility, and if she pesters you, tell her to sod off." 

"I wish it were that easy," Lily sighed, and with a flick of her wand, the glass had disappeared. 

Sirius frowned, and carried Sera out of the room. "It is, Lily. It is."

Lily trailed after them, brushing her hair off her face, and when she walked into her room again, she was pleased to see that everything had been boxed up, and James was magically stacking everything on top of her bed. She studied him carefully, the way his hair flopped into his eyes, and that he pursued his lips when he was concentrating hard. Without even realizing it, she was standing in the doorway, a wide smile lighting up her face.

Natalie took notice of this, but kept her lips sealed. "Well, we're done. Let's take go grab a bite to eat, and then I think we're ready to get the show on the road."

Lily nodded in agreement, and opened her mouth to offer a suggest as to where they should eat, but the sound of the front door opening cut her off. 

"Lily, I'm home!" the voice cried.

Lily glanced at her three friends and her cousin, and muttered, "Oh no."


	2. Rebel Without A Cause

_A/N: Here's the second installment to my story. I'd appreciate it greatly if you'd review after you read. Many thanks to Aura Potter, Sirius, and Michelle.;)_

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# Trepidation of A Rose

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Chapter Two: Rebel Without A Cause

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"Do you like it?" Natalie asked much later that night, as she and Lily collapsed tiredly on the battered red loveseat that used to belong to Natalie's great aunt. Natalie, of course, was referring to the flat. 

"Are you kidding? I love it. It's positively perfect," Lily gushed, and in her eyes, it was. The sitting room was surprisingly large, with refined hardwood floors, and a bay window that overlooked the northern edge of Hogsmeade. The door to the left of the loveseat led into the kitchen, with its waist-high cabinets that were topped with pallid marble. Beside the kitchen was a green-carpeted hallway, with adjacent bedrooms and a bathroom, that the two young women would undoubtedly fight to get into first in the mornings. 

"Did I tell you I have a job interview tomorrow, with the Daily Prophet?" Natalie yawned, snuggling under her blanket a bit more. 

"No, you didn't tell me," Lily said, surprised her best friend hadn't shared this information with her. She tugged stubbornly on the blanket as Natalie burrowed further into it. 

"Oh. Well, I do. If I get the job, I'll be doing reporting; little stuff at first I suppose, but I'll work my way up." Natalie was highly ambitious, and had placed extremely well on the N.E.W.T's, so Lily had no qualms that Natalie would get her job.

The two sat in companionable silence for a long time, both gazing out of the window to the street below, watching as store after store turned off their porch lights, seemingly in sync. The flat was nestled at the base of the mountain that shadowed Hogsmeade, directly at the end of the main street. It really was the idyllic house.

"I got the idea at dinner that Michael doesn't very much like James. Or Sirius, come to think of it," Natalie broke the silence, turning her head slightly, to watch Lily's expression.

Lily frowned, not wanting to admit to Natalie, that her boyfriend _hated_ James. Kneading her forehead with her knuckles, she explained tentatively. "He doesn't. I asked him about it once, and he just told me that he didn't like them because they were 'Quidditch loving fools'. I've asked him about it many times since then, but he refuses to give me a straight answer." Lily shrugged, lost for answers, and pulled the blanket around her shoulders. "That's why I was less than… enthusiastic when he arrived at Auliera's. I knew that he'd come with us to dinner, despite his dislike for James." She paused for a moment, and Natalie stayed quiet, knowing that her friend wasn't quite finished. "I don't know what to do, Nat. Michael is nice, respectable, polite…but I can't keep dating him when he doesn't approve of my friends."

"I can't tell you what to do, because frankly, I have no idea myself." Natalie abruptly stood then, taking the blanket with her. "I'm going to bed. 'Night."

"Good Night," Lily sighed as Natalie left, leaving Lily to watch the stars, until her eyes closed in exhaustion, and she fell into a fitful sleep. 

* * ** * ** * *

_Lily was in a dark, steel cell, and the air was heavy with danger and evil. For some indefinite reason, she was crouching in the darkest corner, and she was acing all over, and gasping for breath. A tall, cloaked figure came to her cell door, and Lily felt an icy hand grip her heart._

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_"Are you ready? Ready to die?" a man's voice, full of hatred screamed. _

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_"Ready to die if I get to fight you, you cowardly bastard," Lily spat, rising to her feet._

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_The hooded man whipped out his wand, and screeched, "Crucio!" And he laughed, hard and loud, as the beautiful young girl quaked with pain. She didn't scream out in pain from the throbbing, aching curse though, and that made the man fill with rage. She collapsed to the floor, her pale skin shining in the dark._

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_"Stop! Leave her alone!" came a new voice, from beside the steel cage Lily was in. The shapeless, nameless man turned, and with a flick of his wand, he repeated the Cruciatus Curse on the young man, who didn't scream out in pain either._

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_"Did that hurt?" the shrill voice came from the tall man. There was no response, and the man raised his wand once more. "I asked you if that hurt Potter." Still there was no response, and the man again seemed to be filled with fury. "ANSWER ME BOY! IMPERIO!" _

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_There was silence, which was broken when the young man, yelled with odium, "NEVER!" _

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_"Then I shall torture you until you learn how to obey your master!" _

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_"You will never be my master, and I will die before I obey you," the man beside Lily said softly, with hate. _

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_"I value courage, boy, not ignorance. You will learn, or else I will kill you." The hooded man turned and left, slamming a door behind him._

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_"Je t'aime, lis." The young man whispered into the darkness._

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_"I love you too," Lily whispered back._

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* * ** * ** * *

Lily fell asleep on the couch, and it was really unfortunate that she was not a morning person, because the sunlight that streamed through the window from the rising sun was really something. But Lily didn't appreciate it at all, as it had woken her up, and since she was never in a good mood the first thing in the morning, Natalie knew better than to comment on Lily's hair, as she passed her in the hallway, on her way to her interview.Lily's hair looked worse than James's when he hadn't even _attempted_ to brush it for a few days, but Natalie said nothing of the sort, and just smiled angelically in passing. Lily glared at her through her snarled hair, and stomped off to her room, where she met a flock of chirping birds outside her window.

She growled under her breath at the birds, who were perfectly content with screeching to each other piercingly. She turned on her heel sharply, and walked, bleary eyed into the kitchen, where Natalie was buttering a piece of toast. 

"I will not kill the birds, I will not kill the birds," Lily chanted darkly, as she jumped half heartedly unto the counter, succeeding in knocking the salt shaker to the floor. 

"That's the spirit," Natalie grinned, tossing her knife into the sink, where it clicked metallically against a few glasses."Morning, by the way," Natalie added as an afterthought, stuffing here toast into her mouth. 

Lily merely grumbled incoherently in response, dropping her head into her arms. 

"I was thinking," Natalie told Lily airily, "if you got some free time today, you could straighten up around the house, maybe clean up the backyard, get us some groceries, and do the dishes." She paused thoughtfully, her face drawn in mock concentration. "And would you mind ironing my navy blue skirt?" Natalie kept a straight face, but her gray eyes were laughing. 

"I wouldn't mind giving you a swift kick in the- " Lily said threateningly, picking up the tub of butter and hurling it at Natalie, who apparated away in the nick of time. 

Lily put her chin in her hands, sighing heavily and looking demure as she wondered what she was_ really _going to do that day. She was not employed yet, so there was no job to scurry off to; yet all her friends had jobs, or was getting interviews for everything from the Ministry down to the Ireland Quidditch team. Hell, even Sirius was grabbing responsibility by the horns, and getting steady money. She wasn't quite sure what he did to get that money, but he claimed he had a job, so Lily just prayed it was permissible, since Sirius hadn't given any elaborate details as to what he did, and knowing Sirius- well it very well could be illegal.

Even little Peter Pettigrew, who was as talented as a toothpick, was working as floor supervisor at Flourish & Blotts in Diagon Alley- in other words, he stacked the books, and swept the floors, but a job was a job. Lily sighed deeply again, tapping her fingers on the table, to rid herself of the deafening silence. She could always take a trip down south, and drop in on Remus Lupin, who was, last she checked, spending the summer with his parents, in London.

The Lupins were a superior family, and they lived in an imposing brick mansion, with remarkable panorama. They had desecrated Remus since he had been bit by a werewolf, and he was only welcomed into their home because his mother had a certain affection for him. Ronan Lupin, Remus's father who was head in the Department of Mysteries for the Ministry, only acknowledged his son when exalted officers in his department asked how Remus was doing at Hogwarts, and even then Ronan couldn't hide his repugnance for his son. 

Lily knew his summer would be generally horrible, and that Natalie wouldn't mind having an extra room mate, especially if it happened to be the tall, sandy haired man with amethyst eyes, and a satirical sense of humor. Lily smiled brightly, as she headed to the bathroom for a shower, imagining her life as a magical psychiatrist. Or maybe, just maybe, she should picture her life as the patient of a magical shrink.

* * ** * ** * *

Remus Lupin had been sitting at his ornate desk for what seemed like hours, when a saint- whoever it was, it didn't really matter at this point, Remus would have welcomed Satan himself in fluffy, pink bedroom slippers- knocked on the side door of the kitchen. Remus practically sprinted from the sitting room into the kitchen, a merciful smile plastered on his face, exceptionally glad to get away from the atrocious report his father had given to him at dawn, with strict orders for it to be done by the time he got home. 

"Lily!" Remus cried as he flung open the door, his smile wide, and his eyes bright. 

Lily stepped into the house, her lips twitching upwards. "Don't take this the wrong way Remus, but you look like hell wormed over."Remus chuckled as he led her to the plum overstuffed couch in the sitting room.

"I appreciate your bluntness. Tea?" 

"No thanks, it's a bit too early for me yet," Lily said.

"No tea? Lily, you're just a rebel without a cause," Remus tried his best to look scandalized. Lily waved her hand in impatience, as Remus sat down across from her and poured himself a cup of tea from an antique chipped white teapot. 

"How have you been?" She asked as he sipped his cup noisily.

"Since I saw you two weeks ago at graduation? Just dandy, thanks," Remus grinned cheekily, his voice heavy with sarcasm. Remus gestured to the books and papers that covered his desk, and sat his cup down. 

Lily cocked an eyebrow, and said, "Tell me your father hasn't made you do report after report." 

"Oh, but he has. Right now I'm working on pewter cauldrons." Lily pressed her lips together in a desperate attempt to not laugh out loud at Remus's fate, but Remus caught this and started to laugh himself. 

"I have a proposal for you." Lily told him after he collected himself. "Natalie and I have bought ourselves a house in Hogsmeade, and I know that you want to get out of here as soon as possible, so…would you like to move in with us until you can find a place?"

"I'd…love to. But I don't think I should, considering my-er condition." Remus trailed off, shrugging his shoulders in despondency.

"About you being a werewolf? I've already thought of that. We could just lock you in one of the rooms, Remus, nothing to it. Don't worry about it." Lily said easily, not at all bothered by the thought of having a werewolf living with her, or by putting herself in danger of being bitten.

Remus smiled softly, amazed at what great friends he'd been blessed with. "I'll think about it Lily." She grinned back, and the two soon got in a 'heated' debate about who was likely to win the Quidditch World Cup this summer, and whether or not they'd be lucky enough to scrap enough money together to buy tickets. Remus nor Lily had never been all that good at the sport (Lily was afraid of heights), but they had been avid fans of the Gryffindor team when they were at Hogwarts, and hadn't missed a game, mostly because James and Sirius had been Chasers for the Gryffindors. 

"Do you want to go get something to eat?" Remus asked when they had decided that if they ever got jobs, they would save their money, and get Top Box seats.

"I'd thought you'd never ask, Remus."They grabbed the coats, headed for the door.

The twoApparated discreetly in a downtown crowded street in London."Do you want to go to Tisco's?" Remus asked vociferously, over the slight roar of the crowd. Tisco's was notorious for it's Italian pastas and breads, and it's café like tables that were set outside on a veranda. 

"How'd you know I was craving their treacle and a hot chocolate?" Lily asked in mock surprise, laying a hand on her forehead, in the act of a damsel in distress.

"I suppose I just know you too well," Remus laughed, offering Lily his arm, which she gladly accepted, and they strolled off to Tisco's.

* * ** * ** * *

"Broken anyyoung man's heart lately?" Remus asked as Lily stirred sugar into her mug of hot chocolate. They had both finished their lunches, and were chatting about everything in general. 

"No. I'm still dating Michael Vorkosy," Lily said, taking a sip of her steaming cocoa. 

"The 20 year old who's a junior Hit Wizard? The bloke from the Ravenclaw team that beat Gryffindor when we were in our fourth year, and who slightly resembles a Malfoy?" Remus asked with a slight snicker, sticking his finger in Lily's treacle sauce, and licking it off his finger. Lily pulled a pace.

"He does not even _remotely_ look like a Malfoy," Lily said sharply, even though he did. He had the same pale flaxen hair, that was always slicked off his forehead, and the pale blue-gray eyes. "And don't steal my sauce."

"So sorry," Remus said, as he leaned over to swipe some more, but Lily slapped his hand away.He sank back in his chair, and crossed his arms over his chest, sulking childishly. 

Lily laughed at his antics, and passed him the plate. "Mangez Vers le haut." Remus met her bright green eyes in a blank stare. 

"It's French," Lily said, and waved the waiter down. "It means Eat up."

"I didn't know you knew French," Remus said, interested at this fact, but even more interested in slurping up the treacle sauce.

"Auliera taught it to me the summer before our seventh year. It's really not that hard."Lily told Remus, and took the check from the waiter. She started to grab for her purse, but Remus shook his head. 

"We'll split," he said through a mouthful of food. Lily shook her head and handed the waiter two green pieces of paper. 

"You don't even have any Muggle money," Lily said, as soon as the waiter was gone.

"I'll pay you back," Remus said, but Lily just looked amused. "I will," he protested.

"Whatever Remus. Are you almost done? I came to shop," Lily smiled blissfully, as she eyed the small shops that lined the street. Remus groaned, burying his face in his hands. 

"I should have known you had an ulterior motive."

Lily grinned sneakily. "Don't I always?"


	3. Dancing With the Devil

/N: Here's the third chapter to my story. I'd appreciate it greatly if you'd review after you read, as always. Much thanks to waking star, eb, turkey, Chelsea, gurl, bluemoonbabe, marissa, and Rose Diana Potter. I'm forever in debt to Kim for beta reading this; and to Sirius because…well just because damnit. 

## Trepidation of a Rose

** **

Chapter Three: Dancing With the Devil

_"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself –nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror…"_

_ _

__

The Aurors Station was a daunting stone fortress, burrowed so deep within the Black Forest of Germany, that not even it's innumerable towers were visible above the leafless trees. It was surrounded by what the Auror's called the Death River- a bottomless river that was infested with Dark magical creatures that would kill instantly if you fell into the water, and the river's banks were nothing more than dead grass and dark shadows.When Moody had first Apparated the young group of Auror's to castle, for their orientation and first day of training, James had been _sure_ he'd somehow taken them to a torture house for Voldemort. The air that surrounded the castle was enigmatic and surreptitious. 

The inside of the Station was charmingly elegant, with grand halls and majestic jeweled windows that were enchanted so that if you gazed out them you'd see the grounds covered in crystalline snow.Every room hosted an ornate fireplace that was half James's height, and the fireplaces were always glowing golden, and more often that not held the head of one Auror or another, of on some deadly mission. Shelves made of the deepest, darkest wood lined the walls, and held books with titles such as _The Vampire Wars of 1547- The Revised Edition _and _How to Guide Yourself from the Dark Forces_, which looked as though it hadn't been opened in decades. Some books were propped up against jars of brightly colored herbs and even a box of minuscule dragon fangs were laying under back issues of Witch Weekly. (When James questioned Moody about this, Moody just hinted that unless James wanted to get socked into the next universe, he better just forget what he saw. James conveniently did.)

James was standing in the Fighting Room- a gymnasium of sorts, with black mats that covered the floor, and mirrors that stretched from the floor to the ceiling. He and his partner, Frank Longbottom – another Auror in training, were watching Bruce Diggle, Moody's right hand man, demonstrate a few 'basic'martial arts moves. Moves James was sure he wouldn't be able to master in quite some time. Diggle was a short, thickset older man, with distinguished features and sharp cobalt eyes, and a strong French accent. He had been Chief of the Dark Force Defense League before retiring the year before to help Moody train Aurors to fight, duel, and track Death Eaters. James couldn't help but snicker when Diggle called on the other two Aurors in the room, Marcus Crockford and Keith McCann, to practice the moves on each other. 

"Potter! Don't you stand there and laugh boy, I want you and Longbottom doing this too!" Diggle barked, clapping his hands energetically. James and Frank groaned in unison, but turned and faced each other. "Right now…fight!" Before James could register what had happened, Frank had sent a jab to his ribs, and he was doubled over, gasping for breath. Frank went to kick James, but James caught his ankle, and twisted his leg, sending Frank to fall flat on his face. James pinned him down, grinning victoriously when Diggle slapped him on the back. "Good job, Potter…Longbottom, don't lay there, you great lump, stand up and go at it again!" 

After several more rounds of vicious attacks, and after Marcus had been deemed the winner, the four trainees sled down a banister for lunch. James grinned impertinently when a portrait of a golden haired veela winked at him in passing. Keith led them down corridors, and up very creaky stairwells, and James (or anyone else for that matter), thought that it wasn't very much unlike Hogwarts. 

"Frank, my sister's been asking about you a lot lately; I think she fancies you a bit," Marcus rumbled in his deep voice, as they entered a mammoth sitting room, with framed Aurors dozing on the walls. Franck laughed heartily, not looking a bit abashed. Frank Longbottom had been known at his days at Hogwarts for not being able to keep his eyes (or hands) of girls, yet not one girl could resist his shiny blonde hair, vibrant personality, or turquoise eyes. 

"Unfortunately, I have to turn your sister down," Frank said, conjuring up a plate of turkey sandwiches, and a few glasses of soda, and after taking three sandwiches, he passed the plate to his left. "Believe it or not, I met the most gorgeous girl in Zonko's. She's a knockout," Frank's eyes looked glazed, as if he were picturing her in his minds eye. "Blonde, blue eyed, and the most wonderful laugh. Her name's Julia Boot. She's really something."

There was a short silence as they devoured their sandwiches, gulped down pop, and tried to out belch each other. "What about you James? Any lucky lady getting the Potter charm?" Frank asked in a suggestive tone, trying to look wide eyed and innocent, and failing dreadfully. James snorted and half-smiled as Keith catcalled about French blondes. 

"No, not right now," James said, pushing his glasses up from the end of his nose, hoping that they'd drop the subject, or at least move on to someone else. James romantic life was simply non existent, as he'd only had one girlfriend in his 18 years, and he'd only gotten together with her because Remus had dared him, and James Potter never backed out of a dare. The 'relationship' had ended in disaster of course, after the girl had learned that James had never even been kissed. She'd called him four-eyes and ran away, andthirteen year old James knew he'd be doomed forever.

"Oh, come now James. Can you honestly tell me no one piques your interest? Gives you that heart-stopping tinkling laugh? Arouses those _manly urges_?"Frank nudged Marcus in the ribs, and their hysterical laughter echoed in the high-ceilinged room. James colored slightly, and managed a grim smile. "What about that good-looking red head, eh? The Head Girl," Keith inquired, tossing his napkin at James. Keith had graduated four years ago, as Head Boy and Ravenclaw Keeper, but he kept up with news around the school. 

"Oh… Lily?" James asked, his eyebrows nearly disappearing into his hairline. Everyone who knew the pair, knew that they were strictly friends, and never would have put them together romantically. In fact, everyone who had been in Gryffindor tower when the Marauders had been, had always spread the rumor that _Sirius_ and Lily would make a good couple. "We're just friends." 

Frank, who'd finally caught his breath, propped his head in his hands and shook his head woefully, with a knowing smile on his face. "Famous last words, James. Famous last words."

* * ** * ** * *

"I'm home," Lily sang loudly as she walked in the doorway, laden with shopping bags. Judging from the smell that was wafting from the kitchen, Natalie was trying to make dinner, and it was burning. Badly. Lily's eyes watered as she walked into the kitchen, where she found Natalie bent over a vast pot of a bubbly, smoking sauce, a leather bound book propped on a bowl in front of her. "Nat?" Lily coughed, waving her hands in front of her face.

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you come in," Natalie grinned, stirring furiously. Natalie had on the clothes she had left the house in, a cream colored blouse, a short black skirt, and black pumps. Her long, curly blonde hair had been piled on her head in an elegant French braid, but some strands had escaped, and now hung lifelessly by her face. "What did you do all day? You got some letters, Kacela dropped them on your bed, I think." The pot hissed threateningly as Natalie added what looked to be some kind of spice. Kacela was Natalie's tawny owl with amber eyes that Natalie had owned since she was twelve, when her mother decided she needed one, after the summer when all the boys –or Sirius really, became interested in her, and would owl her all through the night. 

"Alright. How did your interview go?" Lily asked, pulling out a chair and sitting down in it, and watching with heavy apprehension as Natalie shredded cheese.

"Well, I got there and this really hot guy comes out. I mean he's a babe, tall and devastatingly handsome with the clearest sapphire eyes I've seen," Natalie waved the block of cheese fervently. "I'm looking at him, and I'm thinking 'Damn, that is a _nice_ backside he's got there', and he looks at me and asks me for my name. I tell him and he tells me his name is," Natalie paused dramatically. "Bruce Hoffman. And then he tells me he's going to ask me _questions_. At this point I'm praying to Merlin and everyone downward that this gorgeous specimen is not my boss, because how awkward would that be? So we play twenty questions, and he tells me I have the job, and that he's my –" 

Lily clapped her hands over her ears as the pot screeched deafeningly, and she stared up at Natalie in black astonishment as she continued to pour oil into the pot. "Oh, don't worry," Natalie assured her, reading her face like a book. "It always does that, it's a signal that it's almost done."

"Right, well I think I'll go read those letters now. You wont have to call me for dinner; I'll just come back once you've shut that bloody thing up," Lily yelled, tearing out of the room, and making sure the door closed firmly behind her. She'd almost reached her room, when the pot ('_Thank you God_') stopped screaming obscenity's and Natalie called, "Dinner's ready!"

Lily, her hand on the doorknob, was about to call back, but muted voices stopped her. Someone –or rather two some_body's_, were whispering around her, and their voices were like running water, maybe only impalpable but there. Her brow furrowed, she turned slightly, and swung an arm out behind her, just in case it was someone ('_But who_?!') draped under an Invisibility cloak. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, but the voices were becoming louder…it was like listening to static on the radio, as you searched for the right channel. You knew the station was there, you just couldn't find it, and so you were stuck with the annoying buzz of static.Lily leaned forward cautiously, just placing her ear to the door, and they became louder.

_…love you very much…but…very becoming…work on that…_

_ _

__Lily quickly took her hand off the doorknob, as if she had been burned, because when she looked down she noticed a red beam creeping out from beneath her door. She stared fixedly at it, before hesitantly reaching for her wand, and kicking the door open. Burning red light stung at her eyes, and a holy echoing voice filled the air, but Lily fought it all and squinted at the two transparent figures that stood before her. The man was James Potter and the woman was herself, and they were both dancing, their arms wrapped around one another, and they were staring at each other with such an apparent love, it ached to look at them. Lily watched them, transfixed, as they moved slowly to their own music, talking softly to one another, completely oblivious to the fact that they were being watched.

Lily watched as the hologram James mouthed words –what he said, Lily didn't know, she couldn't hear him –and the hologram Lily laughed. Lily ( the real one), took a step toward them, and flinched as the music became much louder, and the crimson light became much stronger. With each step, it became more and more painful to become closer to them…the voice was vibrating through her blood, and the couple radiated more blinding red, but Lily was determined to touch hologram James. With trembling fingers she touched his shoulder- and his shirt scorched her fingers, and set her flying halfway across the room, where she was slammed against the wall, and welcomed the darkness.

* * ** * ** * *

When Lily awoke, some many hours later, the house still smelled of burnt sauce and instead of laying on the floor in a heap, she was in her bed, the covers snug up to her chin. Careful not to disturb her head (it was pounding something dreadful), she cracked open her eyes and saw two- no three- figures bent over a smoking spot on the rug. She recognized Sirius's backside, and assumed that the other one was Natalie. They were talking softly to one another, but Sirius kept raising his voice, and Lily wished he would quit, because she felt like she had a horrible hangover. She parted her lips, and tried to clear her throat, but all that came was a searing white-hot pain from her stomach to her mouth, and Lily felt something trickle out of her mouth. Her stomach contracted as if she had been punched viciously, but she couldn't double over, couldn't gasp out in pain, couldn't even move her head in the slightest. She was being forced to wheeze faintly, her lungs crying for air. 

"Oh Lily!" Natalie ran to Lily's beside, and Lily saw that Natalie had obviously been crying –her face was streaked with tears, and her eyes bloodshot, and she looked sick to her stomach. "She's awake!" Natalie cried gratuitously, because Sirius and Remus tore to her bedside too. Lily continued to grasp for breath, her lungs welcoming the faint air that was coming.

"How are you?" Sirius asked, looking at her momentarily as he grabbed a cloth, and wiped her mouth. Lily saw that the cloth was now smeared with a rust red: blood. 

"_How the fuck do you think I feel? What the hell happened_?" Lily asked, but no one answered her, they all just looked at her expectantly, a mixture of horror and fatigue evident in their faces. "_Have you all gone deaf? Answer me_!" Lily shouted, but there was no response in their faces; they didn't balk or command her to calm down, in fact Lily would have thought them to be stupefied. 

"Why can't she answer?" Natalie asked no one in particular, her gray eyes meeting Lily's dull green-gold ones. 

"_Can't answer? What are you talking about? Can't you hear me_?!" Lily screamed, her heart beating in her chest, banging against her ribcage unmercifully.She kept screaming, screaming awful profanity and wretched curses, anything and everything, praying against logic that by some fluke, they'd hear her. "_Listen to me__!"_ Lily inwardly groaned, and cursed hologram James. Lily's hysteria must have been shadowed in her eyes, because Natalie clutched her hand even tighter. The query hung in the air though, because Sirius nor Remus answered. After an elongated silence, Remus shifted uncomfortably and Sirius sighed heavily and rubbed his eyes as he spoke. 

"Bollocks. Not only do we not know what happened, but she can't talk. Whatever happened, and it was evil, no doubting that, must have blocked her from talking." Sirius bounced his elbows on his chino-clad knees as he pushed his hair out of his face. "Lily? I'm going to ask you some stuff, if you understand blink once." Lily really wished she could roll her eyes at this, but her eyes just didn't seem to want to follow her command. She blinked slowly though, and both Remus and Natalie shrieked happily and clapped. 

"If the answer to a question is yes, blink once; and if it's no then blink twice. Understand?" Lily blinked. 

"Are you in pain?" Lily made a mental note to herself to kick Sirius in unmentionable places when she was capable of doing so, but she blinked once anyway. "Right, then. Do you remember what happened to you?" Blink. "Did someone attack you?" Two Blinks. "Did a group of people attack you?" Two blinks. "Do you know how the floor caught on fire?" Two blinks. "Your left hand is scorched, Lily. Did the fire from the floor burn your hand?" Blink. 

Sirius turned to Remus and Natalie and said, "I don't really know what to do. James is the one who has expertise in this, he'll probably know what did this and how to cure her." He turned back to Lily and told her," I'll start a sleeping potion for you, and Natalie can finish it, since Remus nor I were all that good in Potions." Sirius smiled wryly. "And I'm going to go get James."Lily started to blink furiously, trying to use her hands to stop Sirius, but they just twitched vacuously and made her bones quake with pain. It felt as if she were a puzzle and someone was putting her back together, her bones twisting within the skin. She gritted her teeth so hard, her jaw almost snapped into pieces. 

"Look! Is she having a spasm?" Remus asked unnervingly, grabbing at one of her hands, as Lily's eyes budged. '_Please, oh God, let me die__!'_ Eventually the pain subsided somewhat, and Lily was able to slide her eyes to Remus and blink twice. "She's trying to tell us something," Remus gasped, and she blinked once. 

"You don't want a sleeping potion?" Natalie inquired, her voice high-pitched and strained. Lily blinked once, and Sirius stared at her, the perfect picture of an eloquent man doused in perplexity, with his eyebrows furrowed and his forehead creased. 

"Do you want me to get James?" Lily blinked twice, and Remus gawped at her. 

"Well, I don't care what you want. I'm going to get him," Sirius flatly told them, and stalked out of the room. Moments later the three friends heard the roar of the engine of Sirius's motorbike, his prized possession. 

"I'll go get you something to drink, and maybe something to eat, alright Lily?" Natalie asked, frowning softly. "Remus could you help me?" Remus nodded, and with final squeezes of her hand, they walked out into the hallway. 

Lily closed her burning, tired eyes, her thoughts a blur as she fell into a deep, uneasy sleep that was tainted with images of herself and James Potter.

* * ** * ** * *

Natalie and Remus were in the kitchen, pouring a pot of soup into three glass bowls, when James Apparated before them, his hair more tousled than usual, and looking characteristically scruffy."Where is she?" James asked, immediately heading for the doorway that led to the hallway, which still had boxes strewed about it.

"In her room," Remus said resignedly. "Where is Sirius?"

"Riding back," James called over his shoulder as he ran down the hallway, and half-tripped into Lily's room. He was shocked to find a smoldering gray patch of wood in the middle of Lily's maroon carpeting, and even more taken back when his eyes landed on Lily- her vivid red hair contrasting horribly with the stark white of the bed…and of her face. It seemed unnatural for her face to be whiter than pale, and for her bottle green eyes to not be dancing merrily.

James walked to her side, and dropped to his knees beside her bed, his heart falling like a stone as he listened to her shallow breathing. He didn't pick up her hand, because he thought it could wake her up.

_'__This is unbelievable…who'd want to hurt Lily__?_' James thought helplessly as Natalie and Remus came into the room, the bowls of soup floating magically in front of them."Is she asleep?" Natalie asked quietly, staring down at her best friend sadly, and then jumping back as Lily's eyes popped open. As her eyes landed on James, she looked as if she wanted to jump back in fright, but she was confined to her bed, and was stuck with just staring at him. 

"Do you want some soup, Lily?" Natalie asked, standing at the end of Lily's bed, holding the steaming bowl in her hands, a cooling charm placed on the bowl. 

"_No, I don't want any. I don't think I could stomach any right now_," Lily said, and James patted her arm comfortingly, watching as she blinked twice up at Natalie.

"Besides, Natalie's cooking isn't all that wonderful is it?" James cajoled, causing Lily to look at him with widen eyes. "What? She just said she didn't think she could take any food, it wasn't a blow at Nata-" James asked, looking around the room at the odd looks on his friends' faces. 

"Lily didn't open her mouth, James. Sh…She didn't say a thing." Remus said, starting. James narrowed his eyes, feeling the air in the room stiffen. 

"Yes, she did. Didn't you Lil?" He turned to Lily, nodding almost perceptibly. The slightest trace of a smile brightened Lily's eyes as James squeezed her numb, trembling hands into his own.

"_Natalie and Remus can't __hear me, and neither could Sirius when I woke up earlier. I don't know how –or why, I can't talk, or why only you can__ hear me. You're hearing my thoughts, James, and I think…I'm pretty sure, that is…that I can hear yours too_. _Because when I was asleep, I heard you think about who would want to hurt me_."

"That's ridiculous and impossible," James said aloud, not noticing the look Natalie and Remus shared. "Tell me then, what am I thinking about?" 

"_You know, Sirius interrupted my training to be here. I'm training to be an Auror_," James thought.

"_That's very interesting__," _Lily's voice said blandly_. "__I always wanted to be an Auror, but I don't think I posses any of the strength needed –physically or, as proven tonight, emotionally." _James's jaw simply feel to the floor as he heard her, but he watched her two, and her mouth didn't open, and as far as he knew, even a ventriloquist had to move their lips in the slightest. __

"_How did this happen_?" James asked her noiselessly, and she sighed within his mind. 

"_That's the catch. I have no idea whatsoever_."


End file.
